A note to readers • This story is based on a Tuesday interview with Deserae Turner, who survived being shot at age 14. She has faced ongoing health challenges as she graduated from high school, served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and reached other goals. At 22, she is receiving hospice care. These are Turner’s words, with small edits for clarity and length.
Last year, I got diagnosed with pre-stomach cancer. I’ve been struggling ... with pain and whatnot ... and starting to get really sick these last couple weeks. Knowing that I’ve already fought so hard for the last eight years, and knowing just how right now my body is so tired, I already decided that I don’t want to fight the cancer, if that’s what it is.
I made my appointment with my primary care doctor to go talk to her about getting a DNR [do not resuscitate order] signed. I’m not doing okay. I just would like to be done. She was pretty good with it and let me sign the DNR and all the other things that I needed to take care of.
I work Friday, Saturday nights. On Friday night, I’m like, “Okay, let’s go to work.” I was doing OK, just having a little, little bit of a hard time breathing Friday but decided I’d go to work. How I’ve seen it for the past years is, I can be in pain at home, I can be in pain at work. Either way, I’m going to be in pain. So I just decided, let’s go to work.
I worked my shift. I only came home about about an hour to an hour and a half early because I couldn’t breathe. And so it was a decision — do I go in right now to go see if they can even do anything? Me, still thinking it’s cancer at this moment. If they could help me breathe, that would probably be great.
They took pictures of my chest and all of that. They found blood clots or masses in my lungs. ... There’s pockets of pus in my lungs. There’s blood clots in my lungs, in my legs, and everywhere. I think there’s even holes in my lungs from the infection eating its way out. All I know is that it’s hard to breathe and it hurts.
I am choosing not to fight this infection. I’m wanting to let my body go.
Granted, so many people will be like, “But Des, you fought so hard. You can keep going. You got more in you. You can do it.” My rebuttal to them is, I can barely breathe. I don’t have much strength left in my body. I’m sorry, but I don’t even think if I were to fight this infection, I don’t even know if I could even truly fight it. It would probably take me before I could kick it.
I like that I have time that I’m able to say my goodbyes and all. I don’t like that it’s going to be another slow, full, painful death of, “Is today going to be our last day? Or is today going to be your last day?”
I’d love it to just be done and over. Death is scary. I’m not gonna lie, everybody is scared of death.
And yes, I guess I am scared a little bit, but I also just want it to come quick, come for me and be done.
Mama said it’s better this way. It’s better than finding me dead because I accidentally choked on food, or finding me dead because I had a seizure and wasn’t able to get help or anything. So this is good, helpful for my loved ones, that they can kind of watch me go.
‘I know where I’m going’
A GoFundMe page created by her family said Turner has been diagnosed with bilateral septic pulmonary embolisms — an infection that caused blood clots in her lungs. Treatments for pulmonary embolisms include medications and surgical procedures, according to the Mayo Clinic.
Since she was shot by another teenager in 2017, Turner has undergone nearly 50 procedures, including 16 brain surgeries, her family wrote. She was left with multiple lifelong disabilities, including hemiplegia (or paralysis, on her left side) hydrocephalus, vision loss, chronic headaches, and seizures. Recently, they wrote, “Her pain was worse than ever.”
The page was created to help cover the remainder of her medical bills, funeral expenses and provide support to her loved ones, including her husband, her family said.
The two teenagers who plotted and carried out the attack on Turner were both convicted and each received a sentence of 15 years to life for attempted aggravated murder. Colter Danny Peterson and Jayzon Decker left her in a Smithfield canal after Peterson shot her. The bullet has not been removed from her brain.
In the eight years since then, she has made a lasting impact on her community and accomplished personal goals — graduating from high school, getting married, serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and growing thousands of flowers to give away.
Her interview on Tuesday was filmed by freelance videographer Brian Champagne and shared with Utah Public Radio; Turner and her family invited a few media members for a conversation and are now asking for privacy.
“Faith is such a blessing,” Turner told Fox 13. “I know where I’m going. I won’t have this bullet in me. I’ll be able to use both my legs as equally strong. I’ll be able to use both my arms.”
