David Zook joins his daughter Sarah to recount his faith journey from atheism back to his roots in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
DAVID ZOOK: The atheism was depressing. It was kind of a depressing lifestyle. I didn't really like that. It wasn't a belief system that brought happiness. And so I was seeking something for myself, even though what was really driving me the most was my kids. And this feeling of responsibility to do the right thing for my kids.
I also wanted to be happy; I was seeking happiness and being an atheist was super depressing for me. I just didn't like it. So I said, 'Well, let me evaluate this logically.' Living as a believer, and I thought, 'As a believer, I think I'll be happier.' I felt like people who are believers are happier, and they have hope and, and they do things that I think make their lives happier. So I believed that I would be happier in my life as a believer.
And then I said, 'Okay, what happens when I die?' If I was wrong, living as a believer, and there's nothing after this, then ... not going to have a great afterlife, but at least I would have had a happy life. But then what if I were right? What if I lived as a believer and had a happy life, and then I die, and there is an afterlife, and there is a God, then I'm going to have a happy afterlife also. So living according to that pattern made sense to me: that I could actually have a happy life and a happy afterlife.
So logically, I thought I had it figured out. And I thought, 'That's the way to be.'
SARAH SOLEDAD: So was that your turning point and making you believe?
DAVID ZOOK: Unfortunately, that didn't make me believe. It gave me a desire to believe, though.
SARAH SOLEDAD: So how did you apply that desire to believe to your life?
DAVID ZOOK: I wasn't really sure what to do. I wasn't sure where to go from there. How to become a believer: how do I turn this desire to believe into actual belief? I didn't know what to do.
But thankfully, God knows what's going on. He knows what he's doing.
I got a phone call from your mom. I was at work. And she says, "Some missionaries came to the door for you." And I was so mad. But they came back, they started visiting a little bit. And then eventually they said, "Can we share a message with you?" They kept coming over and kept sharing messages. And this went on for a while.
And then one time they came over and they brought a lady from church. I'm pretty sure she was the Relief Society president, which means she's the leader of the women's group. And she came over and she was just super friendly. And she just shared what she believed.
And I don't remember what she said. But I do remember that as I sat there in my recliner in my living room, that as she was saying, this to us, I just was overcome with this feeling of love.
And when I talk about it now, I feel like what happened at that moment was that I was given a gift. And a moment before I did not believe in anything. I did not believe in God; did not believe in Jesus. I did not believe in an afterlife, or scriptures or prophets or anything. But in that moment, I knew it was all true. I knew that God was there that he loved me, that he cared about me and my family, my kids. And I knew I was supposed to go to church.
And I was so excited. I was so excited that I suddenly had this understanding that I had been seeking. I wanted I didn't know how to find but suddenly been given to me.
Support for Logan StoryCorps comes from Cache County and from USU Credit Union, a division of Goldenwest.
