KIRSTEN SWANSON: It's time again for Utah StoryCorps, everyday people sharing their stories at the StoryCorps recording booth in Logan.
MARY HEERS: Ordinary people often have big unrecognized stories. We are lucky that a friend and coworker heard this story and insisted her friend come into the booth with her
KATHERINE JAGGI: Okay, my name is Katherine Jaggi.
MORGAN STOKER TAYLOR: And I'm Morgan Stoker Taylor. And we are friends and coworkers.
KATHERINE JAGGI: And you can call me Katie during this.
MORGAN STOKER TAYLOR: Yes. Katherine just feels ...
KATHERINE JAGGI: Weird.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Too formal.
KATHERINE JAGGI: It does.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: So tell us about Ralph.
KATHERINE JAGGI: So ten years into our marriage — I'm thinking we had three kids by then — he woke up one morning, he had a horrible headache. And he couldn't see out of one eye. Then a year later, he woke up one day and one whole side was paralyzed. We found out he had multiple sclerosis. And he was only in his mid 30s. So that was a real panicky time for me, because we had a little family.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Yeah.
KATHERINE JAGGI: And I didn't think I would have a way to support us. It scared the tar out of me.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Yeah.
KATHERINE JAGGI: He started having problems driving, and I saw him pull right out in front of a car. And I said,"You're done".
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: So how did that change your life from what you imagined as a girl?
KATHERINE JAGGI: I grew up in the era where women didn't necessarily graduate from college. No, they would get married. And I never thought I'd have to be in charge. But once he had to quit working, I had to learn how to take care of our finances. I had to learn how to take care of our home. I had to do all the kids stuff. For the first 10 years that he was retired, he was okay. He was still pretty good. But it's been the last 10 years that has health has declined enough that I really am in charge. And there's this woman that lives not far from us. And I remember her saying -- cuz she's the same age as me... She had retired and she and her husband were healthy, and they were going off on trips. And she says "Oh, life's so fun! Don't you just enjoy it, Katie?" and I went, "No, no, not really."
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Yeah.
KATHERINE JAGGI: Because my life's not like that.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Yeah.
KATHERINE JAGGI: But I... but I knew, even back then that I wouldn't have that.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Yeah.
KATHERINE JAGGI: So I missed that.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: So are there some silver linings to this experience that you've had to go through? Has he always talked about you the way he does now?
KATHERINE JAGGI: More sweet as we've gotten older.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Yeah.
KATHERINE JAGGI: But I think a lot of it is because he's so dependent on me. He has just thought, what would I do without you? And I've had to reassure him. "You don't. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere". I think he used to worry that I would do that.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Yeah.
KATHERINE JAGGI: And I said, "Ralph, where would I go?"
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: I don't know if you hear him, but he just says "she's a keeper, isn't she? She's so great".
KATHERINE JAGGI: Which just cracks me up. Because I think I'm kind of ornery. But the beauty of him? He doesn't remember. Because of his MS. I'll apologize to him and say "Ralph. I'm so sorry I got testy", and he'll say "You did?"
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Silver lining.
KATHERINE JAGGI: Silver lining. There you go.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: He enjoys watching sports.
KATHERINE JAGGI: I mean, he lived, ate, and breathed sports.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Yeah.
KATHERINE JAGGI: It used to bother me that he loves sports so much. But now I'm grateful for it. There was a silver lining, too because he can watch sports on TV and he enjoys it.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: So is there something that you mourn ... that you lost?
KATHERINE JAGGI: The one thing I feel really bad about is that when the kids were younger, I never sat down and talked to them and said, "This will what's going on in our lives" and involve them. And I regret that. What keeps me going? Well, I've continued to work. So it's an out. And I'm a praying woman and a God fearing woman. And I have hope that he won't always be like this, that in the next life, he will be whole. He will be his old self. Because I believe in eternity. And I love him.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Honestly, sometimes I think about you because there'll be something difficult that I have to figure out. I just think Katie had to figure out how to do it. I can do this.
KATHERINE JAGGI: I have to keep telling myself "I can do hard things" every time something hard comes up. And I have lived in a lot of fear. It hasn't been easy.
MORGAN STOKER-TAYLOR: Yeah.
KATHERINE JAGGI: I've had to learn how to do hard stuff.
Support for Logan StoryCorps comes from Cache County and from USU Community Credit Union, a division of Goldenwest.
